Yearning for love

Before I learnt to cut off my feelings I would yearn for my parents at weekends.

Imagine an eight year old boy sitting on the grass verge outside the school, in the countryside, watching the cars go past.
This young boy is imagining that the next car that passes is being driven by his parents.
Parents who will come and take hime home.
Parents who will hug him with joy when they see him.
This young boy at the same time knows that this is an impossibility.
But impossible things happen and the hope is more comforting than the despair he feels deep inside.
Soon he will even cut himself off from his hope.

I was that young boy.
I sat on the grass verge waiting for the impossible.
This is not a metaphor.
This is what I actually did, and no my parents did not come and take me away.

Coming to terms with this has not been easy - life is not fair or kind at times. Thers is however a choice - one can learn from these experiences or...