Light sometimes shines through the dark clouds

I wanted to publish a poem I wrote 10 years ago after my mother had died.

I think it shows that although there has been pain there has also been a sense of connection and love of my parents.

Life is messy and within the pain there is some love which I hope this poem conveys

Useful information:
Puja: a Buddhist ritual in which words are spoken, mantras are chanted and offerings are made to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
Avalokita: a shortened version of Avalokitesvara who is the embodiment of compassion - also known as Kwan Yin, Kannon and Chenrezig.
Mala: a Buddhist rosary.


Rainbow Cloud on a solitary retreat
(Written in Wales shortly after the death of my mother in August 1999)

No puja that night,
Just a walk down the road,
Softly intoning the call to Avalokita.
Pressing the crystal beads of the mala through my fingers.

Sitting on the verge,
Emotions I felt I could not bear swept over me,
And tears streamed down my face,
Mourning the death of a loved one.

I turned to the west where the sun was setting.

Beauty held out it’s hand to me,
And I was taken by wonder .

As in past dreams where I’d found myself in dark hells,
Where I’d awoken as a kind hand, within the dream,
gently touched me on my shoulder.
The sun shone its golden beams on a cloud,
And the cloud, as if to respond,
Sang the colours of the rainbow.

My heart sang the same tune,
my grief dissolved,
and I became the sky.

The rainbow cloud told me of higher realms,
of lives well lived,
and of the mystery of love.
Then gently brushed me with its celestial wind,
and left me calm and filled with a refreshed heart.
And I walked back to the caravan in silent gratitude.

How can there be death where there is love.